Jeremy Clarkson Furious Over Pub Visitors’ Revolting Behavior – What Are Customers Doing That Drives Him Mad?
Jeremy Clarkson Baffled by “Disgusting” Pub Habit That Leaves Him Speechless
Jeremy Clarkson has never been one to hold back his opinions — whether about farming, motoring, or life’s everyday frustrations. But the former Top Gear presenter says there’s one “disgusting” and “utterly baffling” behavior he’s witnessed at his new pub that has left him completely lost for words.
The 65-year-old TV star, who now runs The Farmer’s Dog in the Cotswolds, opened the doors of his revamped countryside pub last August, just a few miles from his 1,000-acre Diddly Squat Farm. The venture marked Clarkson’s latest foray into the world of hospitality — and like everything he touches, it’s been a mix of comedy, chaos, and catastrophe.
Over the past year, Clarkson has shared his experiences of running the pub with fans — from hilarious mishaps and strange customer encounters to more serious challenges like cybercrime and alleged “food intolerance fraud.” Yet, of all the things he’s had to deal with, one issue continues to infuriate him more than anything else: the state of the pub’s toilets.
Speaking in a recent Instagram video marking the pub’s one-year anniversary, Clarkson was asked what he has “learnt” about being a pub landlord. His answer was brutally honest.
“It’s difficult, it’s confusing, and it’s hard work. Baffling,” he admitted, shaking his head. “The thing that baffles me most of all — forgive me for this — but people go to the lavatory, sit on it, and somehow miss the bowl. And I cannot understand how they’re doing it!”
Gesturing in disbelief, Clarkson continued his tirade.
“Apparently you’re not allowed to put CCTV in the cubicles, so we’ll never know. But honestly — how have you got it all over the floor and up the walls? It’s just beyond me.”
While the Clarkson’s Farm star joked about the absurdity of it all, it was clear the problem genuinely annoyed him. “There’s a lot to infuriate me,” he added with his trademark exasperation.
Despite the toilet troubles, Clarkson insists there have been plenty of positives over the past year. The outspoken presenter believes his pub has attracted a loyal base of customers who appreciate its dedication to serving food and drink sourced directly from Diddly Squat Farm.
“We only serve what we rear or grow ourselves,” he said proudly. “It’s proper farm-to-table. That’s what makes it special.”
Still, running a pub hasn’t been the easy country dream some might imagine. Clarkson has repeatedly described the business as a “financial nightmare” — plagued by unexpected costs, theft, and even cyberattacks.
Just last month, he revealed that The Farmer’s Dog had fallen victim to hackers who stole a staggering £27,000 from the pub’s accounting system. Writing about the ordeal in his Sun column, Clarkson explained that the theft occurred around the same time several major UK companies suffered similar breaches.
“So, Jaguar Land Rover had to shut down its production lines this week after systems were breached by computer hackers,” he wrote. “And we are told similar attacks were launched on both M&S and the Co-op. But no one thought to mention that my pub, The Farmer’s Dog, was hit too.”
According to Clarkson, the hackers somehow broke into the pub’s financial system and “helped themselves to £27,000.” He didn’t reveal whether police were able to trace the culprits, but it was yet another setback for his already struggling rural venture.
And if theft wasn’t enough, Clarkson has also been forced to deal with what he calls a new epidemic sweeping through Britain’s pubs — “food intolerance fraud.”
In a column for The Times, he detailed a bizarre incident involving a customer who allegedly tried to claim thousands of pounds in compensation after insisting she’d been served the wrong drink.
“We had one the other day who said she’d been given beer instead of cider,” Clarkson wrote. “She claimed the gluten in it made her so ill she had to cancel her holiday — and that we now had to reimburse her.”
Luckily for Clarkson, CCTV footage proved the woman had never actually drunk any beer, saving the pub from an expensive payout. But he says not all landlords are so fortunate — and claims many are now being targeted by customers fabricating allergies or intolerances to win compensation.
“Many tell me this food intolerance fraud is now an epidemic,” he wrote. “People are abusing the system — pretending they’ve been poisoned by gluten or nuts — when really, they just want free meals or a payout.”
Clarkson went on to blast what he called “faddy eaters” and even joked that he’s considered banning all customers with food intolerances from his pub entirely.
It’s the kind of no-nonsense, politically incorrect humor that has made him both loved and loathed throughout his career — and it fits perfectly with the unfiltered personality viewers have come to expect from Clarkson’s Farm.
Still, the outspoken presenter admits that life as a landlord hasn’t been smooth sailing. In December, he confessed that the pub had been a “total disaster” financially, saying it “barely makes a profit” once theft, vandalism, and parking costs are taken into account.
“Running a pub is not the cheerful, pint-pulling fantasy people imagine,” he said. “It’s long hours, endless rules, and barely any money at the end of it.”
Clarkson’s unfiltered honesty about his rural adventures — from the chaos of lambing season to the headaches of health inspections — has earned him a devoted fan base. His Amazon series Clarkson’s Farm has become a hit precisely because it shows a different side of him: a man genuinely trying (and often failing) to make farming and rural business work.
And though The Farmer’s Dog continues to test his patience, Clarkson shows no sign of quitting. In fact, his determination seems only to have strengthened.
He still spends much of his time juggling the demands of running a farm, filming his TV series, writing newspaper columns, and now managing a pub filled with unpredictable customers — some of whom, apparently, have questionable aim in the lavatory.
Summing up his experience, Clarkson admitted that while he’s baffled by human behavior, he’s also strangely amused by it.
“There’s always something new to make you roll your eyes,” he said with a grin. “But at least it keeps life interesting.”
From hackers and fraudsters to “toilet troublemakers,” Jeremy Clarkson’s pub journey has been anything but dull. And while he may never understand how customers manage to “miss the bowl,” one thing’s for sure — The Farmer’s Dog has given Britain’s grumpiest farmer plenty more stories to tell.
